A small fleet of boats in Clowns are launching to resist the false solutions of the UN-COP15 summat (summit?) on Climate Change in Denmark which in Copenhagen in Scandewegieboard in December.

It will be wonderful to be in Copenhagen with comrade Clowns from all overt the world and lots going on and lots going down and lots going off. 

We will flight them on the bleaches, we will fright them in the feels, we will never slur render!

So, before you slip into red-nosed hibernation, join us: Le Dernier Combat (the fight over stocking mesh?)

The Clowns are organising! The Clowns are organising!

Capen Cyboli kelvin.mason@cat.org.uk

Heyz Clowns, you can read some of our adventures at Climate Camp Cymru in the latest Peace News. And there’s pictures on flickr, the Climate Camp Cymru website, and Amanda’s Magzine…

Now, how about getting our act (un)together to go and play with our Skandewegian and Yooropeeing comrades at this COP15 (is it a policeman’s birthday?) gig in Denmark, which is in Copenhagen

Email me if you’re into some Climate Clowning and maybe even some tip secrete underclover work

Attenshun!

Capten Cyboli kelvin.mason@cat.org.uk

Ramble, rumble, senile, grunt, winter, stiff, stiffy…  Oh, looks like it’s time to gear up for some serious Clowning:

Climate Camp Cymru (in Wales) in August (in Wales of all places!) http://climatecampcymru.org/ - we should up creative imaginations and spindly legs for a series of RUNS ON THE BANKS

Then we’d better get set for Copehnagen in December - liase with some lubberly Uropean Clowns and visit friends in Christiania http://www.globalclimatecampaign.org/ - shall we start a mailing list to co-ordinate this? Let me know what you think kjm04@aber.ac.uk

Look, while I have a stretch and a scratch and wake up a bit, here’s link to a video about Chris Knight - a Doctor of laughter - at the G20 in London

http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/video/2009/mar/31/g20-protests-chris-knight

pip-pip Cyboli (Capten, semi-retarded) xxx

Most clowns were hiding their red noses underneath red pieces of cloth so that they would not be identified as clowns. They chose red because it is a nice jolly colour and also because it represents blood, which is what pours out when human beings are cut or maimed or burned or killed or exploded or sliced or pierced or sheared or shaved or crunched or crushed by the weapons (or bits of weapons – but they amount to full weapons when put together with other bits) made by EDO.

The people in the building where EDO is were frightened that the clowns in red would play too roughly and so asked some clowns in blue to come and make sure that no-one played too roughly.

Then the clowns in blue started to play really roughly themselves!!! And their Mummies weren’t there to tell them to be kind and gentle and not to force things so the whole thing just got more and more rough and hurty.

These clowns in blue were really scared – even when I talked to them about how hot it was and whether they’d like to take their jackets off and wouldn’t it be good if we all got naked together and also about what was their favourite colour and dinner and things like that. Even when I became the sea – which usually makes people relax and start smiling – they were still frightened of me and couldn’t hear anything.

Some were also really over-excited (probably too much orange squash) and poked all of us red clowns playing in the car park with hard jabby sticks, shouting, “Get back! Get back! Get back!”

I got scared then and the sticks hurt too much so I hid in a bush until all the shouting had stopped. The bush was really nice and cool and green and hid me really well until everyone had gone. But then the clowns in blue locked the gate and I was locked in! So I decided I’d live in the bush for ever and ever as we instantly loved each other and I knew that the bush would never hurt me on purpose like that but stroke me gently with her leaves. Then I crawled out of the bush to go and fetch a sacred drum one of the clowns in red had left behind by mistake and shocked several clowns in blue by my sudden appearance. They were still pretty frightened and nearly took me to play the sitting-in-a-cell-on-your-own-for-a-long-time game. Thank goodness they didn’t because that is really the most boring game in the world!

Some of the clowns in blue felt sorry that they’d been so rough after they stopped being so scared. They tried to say sorry with their eyes because they weren’t allowed to just come out and say sorry with words or hugs. I felt sad about this.

The clowns in red just wanted to see if there was another game that everyone could play apart from the bits-of-weapon-making game, which has been going on for years and years and maybe centuries and is turning into an old hat now.

New games (or really old original ones perhaps), like making delicious cakes for each other or taking all our clothes off and kissing, can be really good fun and make everyone feel really good. I’m going to suggest these new games to the clowns in blue – who don’t seem to realise we’re all allowed to play these sorts of games and could play them all the time together instead…

Love from Kommodore Koogiexxx

When King George was looking down the jester stole his thorny crown with PR magic it soon will pass a crown now sits upon an ass. Now is the time to laugh and poke at all of those bewitched by “hope”. Come one come all with juggling balls and stilts to rise above their walls. Their crooked joke will not besiege for the lords will soon be on their knees…laughing

Send in the Clowns!

CIRCA, the clandestine insurgent rebel clown army is gathering for the largest comedy act of the year– the DNC in Denver, Colorado, in the good old USA. Our first meet and greet will be held on August 19th, 5:30 at the Mercury Cafe(2199 California, 22nd & California).

For more information, questions, and or comments please type to–circaDNC08@gmail.com–
Monday, August 25th 6pm, Civic Center Park–begin act one, scene six

Scottish CND are organising a Peace Chain Around Faslane on Saturday 14 June 2008 to oppose nuclear weapons. We need as many Clowns as possible to take part so that we can stop these Peacenik Hippies from forming a 2,000 metre chain of people and banners along the 2,000 metre fence. Such outrageous Commie behaviour can not be taken standing up! So, unchain your brain and see you at Faslane, again!

At approximately 14:00 hours yesterdaytime, a small but determined Mancy Gaggle marched proudly down the Oxford Road in Madchester towards the Army recruitment centre.

Mancy Clowns had heard much about this ‘army’ of late, and thought it was about time we rescued its members from their jobs of death and violence and recruited them as swiftly as possible into our own army of big-shoe, smelly-foot soldiers. Who could possibly choose a canon over a kiss? A shotgun over a saucepan?

Oh such faces! Such colours! Such left foot-right foot co-ordination! What could possibly go wrong? Well… our heroes soon found themselves surrounded by an army of blue Glaswegians, drinking cans of Carl’s Ing and singing the same songs… Forsooth! What the blazes was going on?

Never fear, it didn’t take our brave clownlets long to discover that these jolly folk were here to watch a big game. A game you say? Huzzah! These were our kind of people. We asked if we could play the game too (being masters of all kinds of play), and even offered all our riches, but this game was more expensive than our flowers and feathers and string could afford. Apparently we needed a foot and a ball. Hmmmmm.

So, never disheartened, we marched on to meet the army, perhaps they would know where to get a foot from, seeing as they like to blow them off so often.

And then…

Due to this big game of foots and balls, our rival soul-less-diers had shut shop! They were clearly very upset to have missed us, as even when we came in to say hello the man said “please come back tomorrow”. Perhaps they were particularly busy with decapitating feet for the game.

We tried to pursuade them to play but then the poo-lice arrived, having been watching the blue army just outside, and tumbled us onto the street. Pah!

Always determined we strung up our bannerner which read CIRCA: BE THE BESTEST and played some games before trotting back home. One poo-lice man said he didn’t want to join our army because was already in an army ~ “God’s army”… we have never heard of this army and resolve to get to the bottom of it.

We were invited back though and, let’s painted-face it, it would be rude not to…

of some kind, Alas! News of our games had spread as far as the recruitment office itself, so when we got there we had but ten minute minutes to recruit

Aldermaston 24th March 2008: We are the Bottom Inspecting Gaggle of the Brigade United Mondiale (BIG BUM) of CIRCA and our mission is to sniff out Stinky Bums. Nuclear Bums are extremely stinky and offensive (sic) and so are the Bums of the police who protect them. CND protesters Bums, by contrast, tend to be squeaky clean and smell of roses. It is our job to separate the Stinky Bums from the Sweet Cheeks! There is also the question of texture. Police tend to be hardasses while protesters buttocks are soft as a baby’s – er – bottom. As tailend-charlies, we have to put the squeeze on the hardasses and, unavoidably, fondle a few protesting posteriors into the bargain! For our mission, if we choose to accept it, each CIRCA BIG-BUMmer will need some or all of the following equipment: 

Toilet rolls, which may be worn bandolier style but which must not – repeat not – be thrown over the fence of the Aldermaston Base at any point; ‘Ban the Bum’ posters and CND symbols doctored to look like buttocks; Gas masks, pegs for noses…Imitation (?) pooh – plastic doggie dos or similar smell-like substances to pull from behind a putrid Plod. Apparently malt loaf can be readily formed into replica turds and eaten! Chocolate puddings…Sniffer-dogs (toy dogs on the end of sticks) or knowing-noses (noses on sticks) for getting around the backside of putrid PC Plod; Score cards with values from -9 to 9, as per Olympic events, to hold up when a Bum has been sniffed out; A stinkometer anyone, as per Peter Snow’s famous swingometer? Yellow Cards to warn a suspect Bum that a little personal hygiene would not go amiss and Red Cards for a Bum that is just so foul it merits an immediate sending off; Deodorant sprays containing rose-water or sweet scented air to puff at those pongy police butts. Maybe talc…Flowers to give to those found to have Sweet Cheeks; Toilet brushes should take the place of the conventional Clown duster for this operation and may be used direct on offending posteriors   

We must clean up the police and then the waste that is nuclear weapons, so let’s use our oh-so-vivid imaginations! But remember, you Clowns, it’s a toilet out there so let’s be flatulent, let’s be fetid, and let’s be having you! For logistical information on accommodation and transport, check out http://www.cnduk.org/aldermaston/ . Let’s meet at the Home Office Gate on Paices Hill (see http://www.easterncnduk.org/aldermaston/gatemap.php ) from 11am for a Karzy Council. Note that in an allied operations, Clowns will posse up with the Grimmer Reaper to deliver new improved nuclear death to Aldermaston…  

Clownesque Techniques, Physical Theatre & Political Performance with Glasgow Kiss   

Saturday March 15 & Sunday March 16, 10am - 5pm
Carnival Arts Centre, 34 Albion St, Glasgow
please email jampaz@riseup.net to book a place

throughout the weekend, we are hoping to touch on a variety of techniques, including elements of the Rebel Clown training, other clown techniques, physical theatre and perhaps forum theatre. It will be challenging & is for people who want to explore different ways of using our bodies and minds for nonviolent civil disobedience and creative colourful ways of alternative living. And it will be interactive - not just “us” teaching “you”, but us all going through an exciting group process together. And of course it will be a weekend full of joy, outrageous silliness and frivolous fun. Bring on the Carnival!

And the training is only the beginning… It is meant to stimulate an excitement in creative activism, to be explored further in subsequent practice. We’d like to develop a think tank on how to effectively apply these techniques in social, environmental & political activism - we will be having an open meeting on this at the end of the workshop.
Let’s start now - if you want to take part in the weekend and have any ideas or hopes about what you want to get out of it, please email us!

We could perhaps extend the weekend until Sunday evening or Monday morning to all go out together and putting play into practice. To be followed up by more weekends like this to go deeper? - exciting potential!

- please remember to book a place so that we get a rough ideas of numbers, and please come only if you can make the full weekend training. if you can’t make both days for exceptional reasons, please contact us.

- the training is absolutely free! Only bring your enthusiasm. If you need a place to stay in Glasgow overnight, let us know & we’ll try to work something out

http://www.the-swarm.co.uk/
www.glasgowkiss.org uk

Don’t forget Aldermaston on 24th March. What’s our story? The theme of the action - surrounding the base - is ‘the bomb stops here’. Or did we hear that wrong, was it ‘the bum stops here’? So, Clowns will start with a Bottom Inspection, a seach and stop opeation. Then… Trident’s replacemen’s is ‘one-thousand times more powerful’. So, the rumour is that a sexed-up, mega deadly, Grimmer Reapa and possee will deliver it to the base… CU all there, Capten ‘KABOOM’ Cyboli