CIRCA

The University of Manchester invests over half a million squid in the trading of arms… as clowns we found this highly silly and particularly baffling. So, with decapitated arms, saucepans and bicycle horns a-go-go-yo, a 12-strong gaggle marched noisily along the Oxford road in Manchester towards the university’s post-graduate open day.

Having successfully stumbled upon the main hall we started an arms trade of our own, tempting people to swap their arms for a share in BAE… a share in the shape of a dollar bill with the freshly printed face of our Vice Chancellor Alan Gilbert on. Who could refuse? Having never expected to find so much sillyness in one room, we were informed that there was a very serious talk about to start in the room next door. Wonderful! So we took our weapons of mass disruption and started trying to spread some joy into the lives of these serious folk. But alas! In the state of denial as most serious people are, they did not want cheering up. Boo-hiss! We were told we lacked r-e-s-p-e-c-t… so broke into an appropriate and respectful rendition of Aretha Franklin’s boogie-woogie. But apparently this wasn’t what they were after either. “All we want is peas” chirruped one hungry clown, but they didn’t seem to have any. So having made at least one suited-but-not-big-booted chap shake with happiness and joy we decided to totter back home. Job well done! Leftleg Nicnoc